This is from my friend who has cancer, I cried as I read these words especially the part of a new name when we get to heaven..

Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!The time has really gone by fast, praise our Lord. I'm going in early to do my last yucky chemo in the morning. That is assuming my white blood cell count is up and I feel like it will be. Three weeks later I will begin my 2 round of treatment which they say is a "piece of cake" compared to this one.Everytime my treatment rolls around I have been charged up for it....I know that it is our God because the natural man would be in dread. I praise God that He is so faithful, He is so attentive to our cry. While others don't always understand, He gets it...."He is acquainted with all sorrow". While others have loved me so faithfully, I know they get tired but He "never grows tired or weary, He has engraved my name on the palm of His hand".Last night at Bible Study we we're talking about how we will get a new name in heaven. I've wondered why....I believe it is so we will totally be defined by Him and His thoughts toward us, even our new name that He will give us. Everytime someone will call us by our new name, we will be associated only with Him. His belief of who we are........we haven't yet received our new names but we do have His belief of who we are......."But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a Holy nation, a people for God's own possession that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." What a beautiful thought that I belong to Him, I am His possession. It's important to know "who" you belong to when your in the fire. He has stayed with me the whole time, never leaving me and being long-suffering with me when I needed time.....He has grieved with me.....walked with me in the wilderness and yes, prepared a table there. I have feasted with our King in the wilderness, the Bread of Life and the fresh Living Water. He has been my sustainer and my joy.......I sit here with tears remembering how many times He has lifted my head......."

even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me. Thou dost prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; Thou hast anointed my head with oil; my cup overflows"...........He has caused my cup to overflow!!! As Corrie Ten Boom said, "there is no pit that is deep, that He is not deeper still".I pray my cup will overflow to others tomorrow in the chemo room...........I am indebted to you for your love and prayers....thank you!Love to all,

Standing in a shadow

Wind that rustles, the leaves in the trees,And to watch the flight of the bumble bees.Clouds in the heavens, rolling so high, Whispers of God, who is always near by.
Laughter and tears, beautiful hymns,Go hand in hand, when we worship Him.Love and faith, friend by my side,Heaven awaits us with gates open wide.Each moment goes by, like the set of the sunYes, our race here on earth will soon be run.So walk each day slowly, spend each moment with care,It's God's precious love, we all need to share.
© Al AlbrechtHome Spun Poems

picture by Taylor

Brokenness

As I walk the walk of cancer with a very dear friend it truly is


very humbling for me to hear her cry out in brokenness to the Lord.


It's as if she is saying,





Nothing in my hand I bring,


Simply To Thy cross I cling;

Naked,come to Thee for dress,

Helpless,look to Thee for grace.


Foul, I to the fountain fly;


Wash me, Savior,or I die.






The drugs make her so sick and yet she clings.


Her hair is gone and she doesn't feel beautiful anymore


but God reminded her that there is Nothing beautiful in her


except for Him.


She is broken, She is helpless before her Heavenly father clinging


daily to the cross.


She is strong, yet she is weak. This battle is hard and yet everyday



He gives her enough to get through that day.





I ask her how she is feeling and her response is "well Robin I don't want


to make this something it's not, it's do-able."

I watch in wonder and listen to her voice stay the same.
Fears I'm sure creep in when she closes her eyes but
her arrows go up. Her father protects and knows.
He has not forsaken her or forgotten her.
He knows every single hair that has scattered to the ground.
He has caught every single tear and counted them all.
He has held her body and whispered in her ear. You are beautiful,
but not because of you, but because of Me.

Fevers,Feelings and freezers

The morning always brings the patter of 'little feet' to my bed. Without fail as the sun rises up above the pasture and darkness fading my door slowly opens. I wonder this morning who the morning will bring.



It's almost always someone different.



They must try and be the first to get to snuggle with mommie and daddie.



Those priceless few mins before the world wakes up.





On this morning it was Coop. He was HOT and coughing and I knew by the pressing of my lips on his soft forehead that he had a fever. He snuggled down and started sharing with me how bad he felt. I reassured him that he would be fine and the medicine would make him feel better soon.


I piled him up on the couch and couldn't keep his brothers from sharing in his pain. They hovered around him like sparrows with a new nest full of babies.


As the afternoon wore on the hot cheeks and complaints of the rest started coming. All four of the little ones had fevers and headaches.

This is when you realize having lots of little ones is not for the faint of heart.

The complaints of everyone must be heard. Someone is always feeling worse than someone else.


The days moves own. The hours drag by.
The feeling of everyone is on edge. Short tempered, tired, and my man is not expected home
until late.
He decides he is needed more here and leaves his meeting to come home early.
Fresh perspective and a fresh set of nerves he comes in and makes it all better.
Everyone is relived when daddy is home.He is our Super-man.......

I started wondering if I take that much comfort in my Heavenly Father. If in His presence I let him make everything better.If when I'm scared or sick or wondering of the un-knowns I let Him in to give me a new perspective.

Not feeling my best this new morning I start out again with a fresh new day. Channie was the first in our bed and lips to forehead the warmth still there. One by one they file in red cheeked and grumpy and I know at once that I'm thankful for days like this. Off schedule, blankets in the floor, movies on the tv,and lots of patience and hugs....


My superman left and a few mins later my freezer went out...I called his number and he responded with such strength as always. "Don't worry I'll take care of it."

My knight and shining armor.

A camping we will Go.....

On Friday morning I said my good-byes to my hubby and two oldest.
They were going camping for the weekend. Shelter on their back, food in their pack and nothing but wide open spaces and memories to build.
Scott is so good about spending time building memories with the kids.
I realized that I'm spoiled.
No foot rubs, no read me to sleep, no time with Tay watching girly movies.

I spent the weekend with my four babies. It was great fun watching movies and eating way to many snacks.They all piled up in my floor when it was time for bed. When Scott called to tuck me in I made him promise not to leave me again for along time. He did...............................

Foot Soldier for Christ

foot soldier Definition:

soldier who moves and fights largely on foot; infantryman
a person who does the hard or routine work at the lowest levels of an organization, group, etc.







As I get my "un-expected" marching orders from the Lord I set out on my wobbly feet and wonder if I can do this.
But I march
I check with Him again this morning just to make sure he hasn't changed His mind.
I march.
I feel as though my feet have been down this path yet it's so unfamilier at the same time.
I march.
I feel blisters from my last orders I recieved.
but I continue to march
I'm not sure I'm the best one for the job to be carried out but I have told Him how un-worthy
I am and He assures me He knows.
So I march.
The wind blowing, the rain coming, and the hill in front of me is all un-known but I
march toward the One who called me to march and know that His plan is better.

I find myself slowly looking back down the road I've been marching and wonder this
time if my road will fork.
Wondering this time if my orders will be changed.
Yet, I march on and press in to my Father because He is the only one
who knows how bruised and broken I am. He is the only one who knows,
how bad it hurts. He is the one that called me, so I will march to bring Him glory and know that
in the end it's His will not mine.

I'm just the foot soilder....

A day spent with Flower Princess and her trees.

The grass has given way to dirt.

The place their little feet drag across

when it's their along waited time.

The hours spent "holding on."

The day goes by and the sun is melting behind them. Their feet so dirty that I wonder if this time they will come clean. The smiles that this one simple swing brings.

The tears come as well. Falling, scraping, not enough time on their beloved swing before they have to give it up to another.

I look out my front door and realize this summer is gone and I pray that I didn't waste it.

Living together as grapes...Not always easy

I read recently that the problem with our world is that we are living like marbles in a bag. Hard, no give, just rolling around continuously banging up against each other, when the way Christ wants us to live is like a cluster of grapes. Soft, protected, sweet. Beautiful. The longer you linger on the vine next to the other grapes the sweeter we get.

I feel like a marble most of the time.

Just trying to survive the day. Trying to let others that bang up against me just roll off and pretend that I'm not hurt or that I'm tough. The longer you roll around in a bag next to other marbles the harder you get. The more tough you get. In this dog eat dog world the words and actions of myself and others prove that marbles we are. Being a grape is just to hard. I've been a grape but I always seem to go back being that hard protected marble because well, it's easier and it's alot less work for me. The marbles seem to be everywhere. Can I possible be a sweet grape in the midst.

Christ most of thought so or known so because that's what He was. That's what He is. That's what He calls us too.

If we stay on the vine with Him and if we let Him feed us. If we stay under His protection. If when the rain comes and it will come, we remember, that we are protected like a leaf protects the grapes, by His merciful, beautiful hand, then we can continue to stay on the vine.

Protected,

Sweet,

Needing Him to keep me there.

kissing boo boo's

I feel new to this mommie thing sometimes. I'm always trying to teach my boys to be 'tough' and to teach my girls to be 'ladies.' Well today in the midst of the rush of the front door slamming for the hundredth time I hear the cries of my little fellow. I stop what I'm doing and go to him long

enough to say "you'll be alright." And the brown eyes look back as if to say " yeah I will but I just wanted something". As he was walking off he leaned in and kissed himself and as if the place had healed almost instantly he was on his way. I stared and then I instantly drug this cute little three year old back and sat down in front of him and looked for his hurt. I looked for something to kiss. I looked for a way to make up for the moment I had just lost. The moment for my kisses to make it all better.The moment for me to be his hero. The moment for me to make a difference in his little life.

I have very few moments in Cullen's life that my kisses will heal his hurt. When my kisses will make it all better, and I blew it today.

I kissed him and I kissed him, over and over, until we we're both laughing.Until I could feel the forgiveness that I so desperately needed.

Last night Cullen was lying in bed beside me, under the clean crisp sheets and the warmth set in between us and I said "Cullen do you want to get married when you grow up?" and he said "yes ma'am and I said 'who do you want to marry ' and he said " mama." I know I beamed..I know my heart flooded..

I could not possibly deserve this kind of love in my life. I know what the Lord meant when He said we had to have faith like a child, because my children love me unconditionally and without regard to how I look that day or how much I blow it. They just love me. I guarantee I will not miss another chance to share my kisses to make it all better for anyone in my house.......

Lord, cause me to draw near today--to You, to others. Relationship is all there is.